Monday, March 24, 2008

Crack me up

Crack Me Up

Humor in relationships is touchy: Laughter can bring you closer, or it can pack a cruel punch. How to avoid the pitfalls and use humor to strengthen your bond. By :Polly Schulman


"The first time I ever slept with Jen, I said afterwards, 'So, do I get the job?' " says Steve Bartoo, 37, an information technology specialist. Rather than throw him out, she laughed. "I never thought I'd be comfortable enough with anybody to be funny about that—where it's part of the magic," he says.

"For years my friend Justin kept telling me, 'You've got to meet Steve, he's hilarious,' " says Jennifer Pinkowski, 33, a writer. "Turns out he was right. Steve is the funniest person I know. That's a big reason why I married him."

Steve and Jen fell in love by cracking each other up—an experience we all seem to be searching for. When people list the qualities they desire in a partner, sense of humor consistently shows up near the top. Whether dating or married, the more a person likes his or her partner's sense of humor, the more satisfied he or she will be with the relationship. As the sultry cartoon character Jessica Rabbit said when asked what she saw in her husband, funny-bunny Roger: "He makes me laugh."

But a sense of humor hardly solves all problems of the heart, cautions Rod Martin, a psychologist at the University of Western Ontario. On the contrary, humor in relationships can cut both ways. Funny people, like babes and hunks, seem more attractive at first. Over time, though, the thrill wears off. Besides, relying on jokes to work through deep relationship dynamics can be dangerous: Humor can pack a nasty punch... read more...

Humor As A Tool

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